Alreetas

This fella called Simon goes on Stars in Their Eyes.

Matthew brings him on and says, "Yes Simon, well I believe you've had quite a rough ride over the last couple of years... would you like to tell the studio audience and the viewers at home what's happened in your life?"

"Sure Matthew", says Simon, "It was about 18 months ago, and I was driving along a country road with my uncle, when this big artic lorry came out of nowhere and T-Boned us at a junction. I passed out straight away, and when I woke in the hospital I found I had lost my legs. The doctors told me my uncle had been killed outright."

"But it wasn't all bad, was it now Simon?"

"No, Matthew, the docs told me they could amputate my uncles legs from his corpse and stitch them on to me."

"So you know, I just learned to walk again about a year ago... six months ago I was kicking a football about the back with my little boy for the first time... I'm just taking it a little bit at a time, it's just brilliant to be alive."

"What an inspiring story, Simon", says Matthew, "Now, tell us who are you going to be for us tonight?"

"Tonight, Matthew I'm going to be Simon and Half Uncle"

lol oh i did titter at that one.

Should have seen it coming, but I didn't. Well played old chap

I was wetting myself at that one myself