Alreetas

What do you all think of chat up lines - cool or cheesy ??

Anybody heard any good ones or for that matter as anybody ever used one and if so what was it and what was the response you got ???

Can I smell your fanny?

Must be the drains then

deano wrote:Can I smell your fanny?

Must be the drains then

smooth - obviously a winner :lol:

Never used it but I love
Is Your dad A Theif ?
It looks like he stole all the stars in the sky to make your eyes

- man, that one must be a knicker dropper if there ever was one :D :D

The smell your fanny one has worked trust me 8)

Especially because it aint a soppy corny one

this is classic - your telling me you've pulled a lass with a line that starts with "Can I Smell Your Fanny" !!!!!????????????????

yup, she thought I had a good sense of humour,
Laughter is the way mate, look at all the people that fancy comedians mate

well cannot argue mate - its tried and and tested :lol:

ill ask some of the ladies tomorrow at work if they have a smelly gash or not - the ladies will be all over me :D :D :D

Ive heard Predators before
he tells them ........this is great.........."We are Two pebbles washed up on a beach"

Go on Predator - what is the full verse you use :lol: :lol: :lol:

Aint heard of that one before now I'm interested to find it out.

how about these ones

1) If you and I were squirrels, I could bust a nut in your hole.
2) How do you like your eggs: fried, scrambled or fertilized?
3) My love for you is like diarrhea; I just can't hold it in.
4) If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, then could I meet you between the holidays?
5) How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll give you the meat.

Thanks for the chat up lines, i can honestly say i've never used any.That's why they have made a movie about me, the40 year old virgin.Pebbles’ saying goes like this “we are pebbles that washed up on the beech, who found each other”. It’s not mine its Ulrica’s but she is such a sweet girl I don’t think she used it as a chat up line.

"If I could be anything I would be your tear, so I could be born in your eye, live down your cheek, and die on your lips."

One day i will have the nerve to use that one, but knowing me i'll mix the words up and sound like a dick head.

.. Some pick up lines for daily use.

* Are you as good as your mother?

* Would you like to see my circumcision scar?

* I have a two minute recovery time.

* Didn't I do your sister?

* Are you as good as your mother?

* What is a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?

* Why don't we go back to my place and do the things I'm going to tell people we did anyway?

* I love every bone in your body - especially mine.

* Do you want to see something swell?

* If I followed you home, would you keep me?

* So....How am I doin'?

* A woman asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?"
You: "Do you have the energy?"

* What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.

* Beauty is only a light switch away...

* Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.

if good looks were a crime....u'll b the most wanted woman alive!! haha i'm a smoothy i know.. :lol:

RichieB05 wrote:if good looks were a crime....u'll b the most wanted woman alive!! haha i'm a smoothy i know.. :lol:

Oh dear - has that one worked for you mate ???

well it had positive effects!!! :lol:

do ya no wot no1 has ever used no chat up lines on me!! so if u see me in the club then lads what chat up lines would ya use on me except the smelly fanny 1 lol xxxx

"God aint your legs achin uve been runnin in and out of my mind 4 ages " well it goes sumink like that im just thick lol

You a bad driver....coz you've got FINE written ALL over you!! ;) would that 1 work eh? :wink: :oops:

A lass once came up to me and said,

"Lets cut the crap you wanna shag?"


Was on holiday in a club, she was ok but no word of lie that was her line

Boston_Blondie wrote:do ya no wot no1 has ever used no chat up lines on me!! so if u see me in the club then lads what chat up lines would ya use on me except the smelly fanny 1 lol xxxx

Ive got one

"Is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven :lol: :lol: :lol:

and to quote Deanos last post

"Lets cut the crap you wanna shag?"

I think you may have been in there lol -

I was in there mate, I hit it 2 times on the beach then went back to the bar :>

Alll gooood

deano wrote:I was in there mate, I hit it 2 times on the beach then went back to the bar :>

Alll gooood

I understand mate - got to replace the lost fluid and all that with some tasty beveradge :lol:

Nah not exactly, I needed to get the salty tast off me tongue :twisted:

I went up to these five girls and said "I bet you have a smelly fanny" and look what happened

[image ↗]

LOL Deano is a genius

that stairway 1 is all gd i like that!! slightly cheesy lol but all gd!! nah i prefer cuttin the crap out ya no i be like that gal. ne ways lads got my pictures from when i went out as a Devil!! just need a scanner n then ya all gets a look at me weyhey !!!!!!!

Youve got my attention :shock: - will somebody please buy her a god damn scanner !!!!! :P

sorry tis me that was cumin up as guest!!!
im the devil gal lol that posted bout goin out as devils hmmmm

Life has passed me by.I have a lot of catching up to do.

predator wrote:Life has passed me by.I have a lot of catching up to do.

And hes already started - this is me secretly filming that naughty degenerate known as Predator just today

[image ↗]

muahahaha - just kidding sir :wink:

why is predator wearing a skirt and white panties? and did he catch that naughty man?

heres a few more

1. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

2. I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house?

3. You have to tell me your name, because last night in my dreams, I could only call you 'baby'...

4. I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock...

5. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

6. At the office copy machine "Reproducing eh? Can I help?"

7. Hi I'm conducting a feel test of how many women have pierced nipples...

8. Hi, the voices in my head told me to come and talk to you...

9. I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you...

10. Have you ever played naked leap frog?

Nice ones there mate, app some work (according to a mate, not that I have used any of them :thumbleft:)

here's the best - straight to the point!!

[image ↗]

RichieB05 wrote:here's the best - straight to the point!!

[image ↗]

If only you could guarantee me that I would'nt get a slap and a kick in the nuts i would so use that line

Lobo wrote:

If only you could guarantee me that I would'nt get a slap and a kick in the nuts i would so use that line

that i cannit do mate!

Say it to a deaf person, therefore no slap.

lol if some1 came up 2 me n sed show me ya tits i wouldnt be offended well not if i was drunk id say ere have a look!! lol nah i wouldnt really but id laugh, not at ya but 2 wot u sed i think if some1 ses that 2 ya then ya gots a good sense of humour n that aint ya i like that in a fella xx

Boston_Blondie wrote:lol if some1 came up 2 me n sed show me ya tits i wouldnt be offended well not if i was drunk id say ere have a look!! lol nah i wouldnt really but id laugh, not at ya but 2 wot u sed i think if some1 ses that 2 ya then ya gots a good sense of humour n that aint ya i like that in a fella xx

If it was a really good looking bloke would you show him though or would you still laugh it off ???

Lobo wrote:

If it was a really good looking bloke would you show him though or would you still laugh it off ???

One way to find out mate, a trip to boston.

Could be like that film but call it 1 night in boston

Boston....wot if one of the alreetas lads asked ya?

where waiting Boston........................................

Maybe boston has answered and you need to check your pm for the answer yes.

Or was that just me

DAMN- just you Deano

Well what can I say guys

The saddest one i used to use and it worked was when a guy would ask me my name i replied 'Mary' theyd saw yeah thats cute or nice to which i would follow up with 'Poppins I'm Practically Perfect in everyway' It seem to intrigue them into finding out the truth !!!

oooh - thats a good one. I know if it was me that would keep me interested as long as the lady was'nt just fucking around with me for a laugh

I'd prolly be cheeky and ask if I could clean out your chim chimineys chim chimineys chim chim sharooos

LOl - thats right "A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down - You know what im saying baby"

Nice one mate

i wud have went for the subtle approach....."mary, how fucking old r u?" i aint calling u that....from now on ur called Kate"

ooo lads lads lads... try this 1...its fucking gr8!!!

go over 2 a lass, take a pic of her...when she asks why...say "m8 mate sed give me 1 good reason why i shud cum out 2night"!!! ooo its a fucking beaty!!

^^^ - please tell me you've actually done that - that reeks of cheese - but does sound like a damn good one. If you did richie I take my hat off to ya

would it work for you boston??

ooo believe me it works!!

nd am going out in sunderland on saturday...nd i bet with works with them dirty mackem ho's!

Dolemite!!

yeah you'd pull me doin that 1 as long as u wasnt takin the piss mind lol

how cud i take the piss outta u!

i dunno really u could lol

now who would take the piss out of you boston??

alot ppl may do coz im better than them they might try 2 put me down
ha ha lol no 1 dares take the piss outta me round here

no comment from me then

guess what....that chat up line had sum fucking hellish positive effects!!

DOLEMITE!!

yea mate but you were in mackem land, they fuck there relatives, all you have to ask is "hey babe you got an hour spare for me"

RichieB05 wrote:guess what....that chat up line had sum fucking hellish positive effects!!

DOLEMITE!!

Hey richie - have you been dipping your man stick in the mackem girls ???- cross breeding is banned in some countrys you know

"Is your name Jacobs?"
"Cause you are a real cracker"

"is there a mirror in your pants"
"cause i can see myself in there"

Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg? No??? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!

Do you fancy a shag ?
No!
Do you mind lying down while I have one ?

This face is leaving in 15 minutes and I want you on it

i've lost my teddy bear!
can i go to bed with you instead

nice 1s there m8, good find!!

Q. whats got 10inches and speaks French?
A. Moi

I think this should be its own section

Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk

If a women asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You should answer: "Yeah! Do you have the energy?"

I've just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot.

Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Gretchen?

There are 206 bones in the human body, want one more?

Baby I'm like milk, I'll do your body good.

Hey baby lets play army I'll lay down you can blow me up

Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist

I have a two minute recovery time

Yo. You'll do

What's wrong? You're looking a little sad and gloomy. What you need is some vitamin me

Just a few more to add :P

Nice selection, I'm making notes for my next night out lol

Cheeky wrote:Baby I'm like milk, I'll do your body good

oooh - thats a good one - Im going to try that on the girls at work tomorrow

which lasses at work dont have restraining orders on you?

the new ones....like Lawree - muhahahahahahahahahaha

Just give her time, young 17yr old ass mmmm

mmmmmm my young 17year old ass lol

Boston_Blondie wrote:mmmmmm my young 17year old ass lol

mmmmm

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm - how old are you Boston?

17 lol

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm - 17 - still as fresh as daisy aswell I bet

u wot lol?

nice and fresh - youthful exuberence - virile - fresh meat...............

Im touching myself again dammit

u think i havent "done" many

is this a confession ???

ball park figures??

ball park wot??
u wanna no my figures

ball park figures means an estimate

I want to feel your figure

u cheeky bugger u think i need 2 estimate coz i dont that many lol im only 17 ya no

lol

aaaah 17 - virile, exuberent, fresh as daisy etc............................

no i done 12 lads :)
rather good i say

at once?

I thought you were a virgin Boston

no since i lost my V plates at 15
n then i was wiv this lad 4 9months n i been wiv my current fella 3 months n i dont cheat so

only forum sex

no no proper sex lol did u not see my topic about places ive had sex

no no - are you allowed forum sex while going out with this lad?

wot my lad dont no wont hurt lol

oooooh - you are naughty

H

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L

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Y

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A

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okey dokey here is the PULL-O-METER!!!!check out

http://www.thesite.org/flash/pull-o-meter/pull-o-meter.html

Ive got a 66% chance of pulling

Shy Guy
- Always in control, and that often works out the best on a holiday night out, But stop playing it so safe! We know its not cool to get wasted, but you need to let down your hair and live a little! Perhaps a bit of dutch courage will give you that pep you need to go for it a bit more.

68% thats pathetic lol

well your 2% more likely to pull than me Boston.....lets see who is below me - muhahahahaha

lol yeah

70% for Deano, come and get me ladies. muhahahaa

dont lie lol

I did, and I can confirm that Local hero got 70% aswell

lol ok
2 more than me

woohoo

78% - but look what it says!!!

All mouth and no trousers

Feeling good, you are happy with the way you are. This is a plus - people are attracted to a confident person, but there is still some work left to do on the style front. Think a bit more about your clothes, your mates, and your general demeanour, and the world of the opposite sex will be your oyster!

like a chinese proverb eh

richie ure mine all mine

4eva

and what about me???

I knew she would dump me for a younger man

ohhh lol and ures Deano n Lobo
im sure thers plenty of me 2 go around lol
MWAH

thanks Boston....im sensitive you know

sorry babes i just get confused wiv how many people i am actually personally connected 2 lol

hmm I thought I was top of your list :<

One night with Richie and you go all soft on him

awwww sorry deano babes lol

too late for sorries babe, its soo cold with my heart broken
lol

Boston_Blondie wrote:richie ure mine all mine

woohoo

^^^^ - you jammy bastard

^^^ ;-)

can we watch? lol

watch...and learn!! muhahaha

my dear child we will have to give you tips - you will be like a deer trapped in a cars headlights when the man eating talons of Boston get wrapped round you -we will be there to shout encouragement

thanks - will you have pom-poms and stuff?

only to cover my stiffie from seeing Bostons tatas

muhahaha

u wanna take over when i tire?

sloppy seconds but....

ok you not reckon it would be wierd to be shafting a lass when there is a guy in cheerleader outfit watching?

muhahaha - yeah

RichieB05 wrote:muhahaha

u wanna take over when i tire?

sloppy seconds but....

why not- ill bring some of the bairns wet wipes along- get boston to wipe her tatas and flower down so i dont get any of your man juices on me and Ill have a blast

well we'll just have 2 see wot boston thinks.... i know she's in bed at the mo...pretending 2 be ill!! muhahaha

ey up richie i am ill im off work 2day again been doctors got chest infection
u all make arrangements 4 my next few nights when im down your end lol dnt worry bout me i wont have a say

Boston_Blondie wrote:im off work 2day again been doctors got chest infection

aww Boston - i know the perfect portion 4 a bad chest infection...its called Richie Medicine!! its warm, salty and abit goey - but a mouthful WILL help!!

Yep - and Ill rubs the vicks on your chest my poor lamb

muhahaha

lol cray spitroasting

ohhh thanks u guys ya so helpful
its shitty tho gotta go 4 tests could be serious :(

:O sorry 2 hear that hun - u think this could b from the smokers?

nah lol sha asked me if i smoked but i dont so its summat 2 do wiv me i should be ok me hopes ne way

when u goin in 4 ur tests?

what kind of tests Boston ??? - 'Clear Blue' possibly ???

Lobo wrote:what kind of tests Boston ??? - 'Clear Blue' possibly ???

muhahaha - *looks innocent* dont look at moi?

lol Whose the Daddy

Richie is odds on favourite in my book

lmao

ive been gone 4 20mins n now im pregnant
no tests 2 see wot im dyin of coz im gettin ill man

yeah she's gone 4 20mins and now i'm a father!! tut tut tut boys!!

u aint bothered im ill just bothered that ppl accusin ya of bein a father lol

boston u know am worried!! iv got my fingers crossed 4 ya all the way!!

good lol thanks
i be fine tho im a little fighter ha ha

yep - we all have our fingers crossed 4 our lil Blondie, dont we?

Damn right bes, hope you get better soon

why I Boston - Ive got my fingers crossed and my knackers criss crossed aswell

You take care yourself tinker

its ok back at work 2morra least the week should go quicker now i had monday off coz i be goin thinkin it monday 2morra n really........... it aint lol

u crack me up!

in a good way i hope richie

in a good way yeah!

well then its all gd innit

innit....

tight dolemite!!

ok let me in on this 1
wot is dolemite

a 'black' word lobo is trying 2 make world famous!!

yeah but wot it mean ya all say it lol

DOLEMITE

say it loud and say it proud - dolemite is the newest leading franchise in cool lingo. It has taken Alreetas.com to a new level and is soon to be hitting d streets 'innit' - soon all the bad boy wiggas will be saying it and they will carry little red Chairman mao books in my honor - but they will be little red 'Lobo' books instead
I shit you not

R

E

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P

E

C

T

ok
how u pronounce it then

like - Dollar - Mite
but sounds much cooler when you add a motherfucker at the end

So when you tell your friends at work about how good a night you had a weekend or something you have to say
"It was totally Dolemite"

or

"it was Dolemite motherfucker"

ohhhh ok i will do
i will start the trend off in Bostonian Land - Land of the Chavs n Chavettes it will be hittin the streets 2morra

Dolemite Boston

yeah dolemite motherfucker

is boston full of CHARV's? my m8s from scunthorpe and sed he's never seen so many charva's since being in the north east!!

man boston is Chav land every1 is 1 or a Chav Wannabe

see us north easterners started the whole thing apparently - we say "charvas" - 'Char-VAS', i h8 the way southerners say 'chav'!!!

tut tut tut - if u's r gunna copy us, copy us properly!!!

nah we dont even say Chav in boston
its Townie
im only say Chav so u guys understand me lol
Boston is Townie lads i.e Chavs
if u aint a townie ya a townie wannabe

RichieB05 wrote:see us north easterners started the whole thing apparently - we say "charvas" - 'Char-VAS', i h8 the way southerners say 'chav'!!!

tut tut tut - if u's r gunna copy us, copy us properly!!!

i fucking hate the word CHAV - In Newcastle its been CHAR-VARS forever - we started the whole thing but there was a book released claiming it started in the late nineties in cambridge or something which is total BULLSHIT

its been going here since the late 80's early nineties at least

yeah i dont understand where the got that claim from!!!

Boston wot is a emo then? or emu?

emu is that divvy bird innit

chavisham in kent or something app is where Chav came from lol
Southern twats

do u no wot im afraid 2 say my BF a Townie
n coz im wiv a Townie i have 2 be 1 or im not accepted lol
nah it int that i wont be accepted its coz i wont fit in

right lets see if ur a CHARVA!!!

do you own....

Rock ports?
Fila Track Suit?
Big Earrings?
A clown necklace?
hate ppl who like Rock/punk music?
Wear Trackie bottoms?
listen 2 really quick dance music/new monkey?

http://alreetas.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=907&highlight=dolemight+pimp


Click the link for the definition of Dolemite

???

shit shit shit
go on msn now n look
ok right now
i will go on cam

2 secs

Erm I sorter half a one?


Wear Trackie bottoms?
listen 2 really quick dance music/new monkey?



I love new monkey stuff

WTF is New Monkey ???? - what is old Monkey or was that just called Monkey ?????

You heard of afterdark music? or bonkers? Its speeded up 80s songs with mc over the top

fookinn hell - anybody done a cover of kenny Loggins 'Footlosse' - i fecking love that song

erm...not that I'm aware of there was some good Dancing in the rain, Rush hour, 74 75


and nena 99 red balloons

lmao

i get called a charva coz of my car!!! but i aint

I get called one cos I love all that music and fuck charva lasses in the park wtf did I just type that?

muhahahaha

ok this is it Richie am i or am i not a Chav/Townie/Charva

Boston_Blondie wrote:shit shit shit
go on msn now n look
ok right now
i will go on cam

come on you buggers - share the beef
There are no secrets on Alreetas !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ur in the middle!!! ur a half a CHARV!!!

tell us all what was seen on cam???

my sexy ass
n my boobs
omg the use of my vibrator
richie u lucky lucky boy

Boston_Blondie wrote:my sexy ass
n my boobs
omg the use of my vibrator
richie u lucky lucky boy

you were showing him your bump werent you preggaz

Boston its HARD 2 tell whether ur a charva or not wen ur naked and riding ur 7" purple pleaser!!!

hahaha they were deciding names to call him/her

lol no no no

LOl - How about Chylmidia for a girl ???

Is the bairn having your last name or Bostons name Richie ???

we're agreed on Kia - havn't we hun!!

have we

Are you going to marry Boston to make her a respectable women mate ? - if so can we all make pervy speeches at the wedding

hey Boston - I can just imagone you in a Buberry wedding dress

muhahahaha

lol i aint even old enuff 2 get married yet

old enough to get pregnant then your old enough to seal the deal -

Lobo wrote:old enough to get pregnant then your old enough to seal the deal -

muhahahaha

OMG this site has my whole future planned out 4 me

we know wots best 4 ya!!!

we dont want u 2 end up as a grown up 'TOWNIE'!!!

muhahaha

im only 17 im only a little townie

just marry Richie and everything will be fine - Richie will provide for you and little Chlymidia and you will live happily ever after

yeah 4 now - we dont want this 2 escalate outta control!!

so is Boston moving up here then? raise the bairn to be a propper Geordie

what will peebee think of all this Richie???
And will Predator be godfather of the bairn aswell ???

soo many questions hurry and decide richie as Boston needs to know

muahaha - peebee will b thrilled, and pred will defo b the god father!!!

When i was clubbing at the weekend this scottish guy came up to me and said 'are you up for a shag?' i shook his hand and he said 'is that a yes?' and i said 'no, but i applaud you. 10/10 for subtlety'. why use chat up lines when u can be as obvious as that?! i've never used a chat up line myself but they're excellent comedy value!

ruled by secrecy wrote:When i was clubbing at the weekend this scottish guy came up to me and said 'are you up for a shag?' i shook his hand and he said 'is that a yes?' and i said 'no, but i applaud you. 10/10 for subtlety'. why use chat up lines when u can be as obvious as that?! i've never used a chat up line myself but they're excellent comedy value!

LOL - I bet he thought he was the luckiest man alive for a few seconds lol.
I just would'nt have the bottle to say something like that to a girl ive never met before - I would just get so slapped for it

ohhh thats the most common chat up line in boston every1 uses it n every1 goes wiv it lol

Boston_Blondie wrote:ohhh thats the most common chat up line in boston every1 uses it n every1 goes wiv it lol

(Lobo makes mental notes and buys A-Z on how to get to Boston)

down the road n then turn n down anuva road
hey presto ya in bostonian land - land of the townies
warning gold jewellry n trackys 2 be worn b4 entry

Boston_Blondie wrote:down the road n then turn n down anuva road

awesome directions Boston - im sure Ill be there in no time

The way you descibe Boston sounds like everybody dresses like they are a member of the band 'Goldy lookin Chain'

ohhhhhhhhh i love goldie lookin chain
yeah lol basically

used this on the 'hot lass' at work...

Can i have a picture of u?
Coz i want Santa to know exactly what i want for Christmas...

thanks cheeky!!!

RichieB05 wrote:used this on the 'hot lass' at work...

Can i have a picture of u?
Coz i want Santa to know exactly what i want for Christmas...

thanks cheeky!!!

was there any result there mate ???

she said 2 me 2day....

Awww that msg u sent me was lush!

workin on it! lol

lobo he works in sunderland, of course it worked.

here pet I may not be a relative but do u want a shag works there mate

^^^^^ - muhahahaha - he is something they all secretly desire..........to be a GEORDIE

Deano wrote:lobo he works in sunderland, of course it worked.

here pet I may not be a relative but do u want a shag works there mate

laffing my fucking ass off!!

muhahahah, this ones cool "Are you retarded? Because you sure are special "

"you must be a parking ticket cause you've got FINE written all over you"

"My invisible watch says you're not wearing any panties, is that right?"
"No..."
"Oh... must be an hour fast..."

"Would you like to dance the dance that requires no pants?"

"Do you have lung cancer? Because you're smoking!"

"Wanna go halves on a bastard?"

"You know, some call me Moses because I've been known to part the red sea"



here is a link to a chat up line site ive just come across (not literally)
http://www.ocf.berkeley.edu/~montymex/pickup/Intropickup.html

gunna have 2 use them 2moro?!

and wot would ur lass say?

muhahaha - probs....dad put ya pants back on!

You could try these lines guys - Tosser swears by them

"You're sweet but you're just four feet
And you still got your baby teeth
You're too young and I'm too well hung
Tonight I'm gonna rock you"

its a knicker dropper

How about wana fuck ? mind if I have 1 then ?

"The only things your eyes haven't told me is your name."

"you're like my false teeth.. can't smile without you"

"your like a dandruff.. can't get you out of my head"

"nice shoes.. wanna fuck"

"Mmm, I thought I smelt oestragen."

"I can't promise I won't tear anything"

"Is your daddy a terrorist? 'cause you're the bomb baby"

"Does this smell like chloroform?"

"Fuck me if I'm wrong.. but isn't your name Shirley?"

some funny ones there

Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!

Roses are red, violets are blue, I like spaghetti, let's go fuck.

Your body's name must be Master Card, because it's everywhere I want to be.

I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.

I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big-Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?

Wanna play house? You be the screen door and I'll bang you all night long.

If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille nametag.

Excuse me, do you wanna fuck, or should I apologize.

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

Hi, I'm a necrophiliac, how good are you at playing dead?

I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

Want to play conductor? You be the engineer and I'll go choo choo.

Hi, my name is Pogo, want to jump on my stick

more - keep em coming

lol some good ones there

shearergirl84 wrote:

I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

Class

"Are your parents retarded because your sooo special!"

dead or alive, you are coming with me!....

"Is that your pussy I smell?" if she says no say "Oh, it must be your breath" if she says Yes, your in!

This is useful for any tall people (and some fucking luck)

Girl: Wow, your tall! Are you in proportion?
You: Honey, if I was in proportion I would be 9ft 11

edit - fucking hell, nearly a year since this thread saw the light of day!